Accutane and lowered serotonin levels



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[ youth.rs ] zin za mlade | seminari, stipendije, konkursi, volontiranje, radionice, kursevi accutane and lowered serotonin levels
Osecam se neverovatno odbaceno, zapostavljeno i usamljeno
utorak, 13 septembar 2011 00:00

pitanje:
Imam 16 godina i osecam se neverovatno odbaceno, zapostavljeno i usamljeno. Roditelji su mi se razveli kada sam imala 2 godine. Mama se tad razbolela od multiplekskleroze i ona i ja smo dosle kod bake i deke. Kako je njena bolest sve vise napredovala, baka je brinula o njoj, zapostavljajuci sebe. Tako se i baka razbolela, ali dugo to nismo znali. Rak pluca su joj otkrili tek kada je metastazirao. Tada, ona nije mogla vise o mami da brine (mama je sad totalno nepokretna) i stavili smo je u dom. Medjutim, kako smo rak kasno otkrili, tu nije bilo pomoci. Umirala je 13 dana, mucila se a mi nismo mogli nista da uradimo. Davali smo joj morfijum, pored koga je ona i dalje osecala pritisak i koji kao da nije pomagao. Umrla je 23.03.2011. u 14:30 i to tako sto je ta cista (koja je u stvari metastaza raka) toliko narasla da je stomacna duplja pukla i voda je otisla u pluca, i baka se ugusila. To ue bio zaista jedan nepodnosljiv period, ja sam ne znam kako uspela da ne popustim bas toliko u skoli i zavrsila sam 1. razred V bg. gimnazije odlicna (4.53). Od tada zivim samo sa dedom, mama je i dalje u domu, redovno je posecujemo. Sa dedom mi je jako tesko da zivim. Konzervativan je, starog je kova, a i posto je sad on preuzeo odgovornost o meni, neverovatno se plasi. Zbog njega nisam mogla preko letnjeg raspusta da izlazim cesce od 3 puta nedeljno. Nisam znala sta da radim po ceo dan u kuci. Nisam smela da placem, jer su mi svi jos od bakine smrti govorili da moram da budem jaka zbog dede. Bila sam ocajna. Da stvari budu jos gore, tat je u Spaniji, na Kanarskim ostrvima. Tamo ima zenu i cerku, koja ima 4 godine. Za njih mi je rekao tek sad. Naravno, nema teorije da se vrati ovde. Cujemo se povremeno, nekad cesce, nekad redje. Sad u poslednje vreme je poceo neizmerno da mi nedostaje. Imam utisak kao da ni njega ni nikoga nije briga za mene. Mama je polako pocela da se gubi, ali samo blago. Sa njom vise i ne pricam. Samo neki kako da kazem, poslovan odnos. Ponasa se kao dete, a ne kao majka. Ako se oko necega sporeckamo reci ce dedi nesto za sta sam je zamolila da ne kaze, sklona je da radi takve stvari. Shvatam da je u pitanju bolest, ali zato sa njom nema teorije da ostvarim odnos kakav bi majka i cerka trebale da imaju. Tata ima svoj zivot, novu cerku kojoj ce da se posveti i koja ce imati sve ono sto ja nisam. Da, ljubomorna sam na nju, ali nije to sad u nekoj bolesnoj meri, jer nije ona kriva za sav ovaj uzas koji se meni dogodio. Deda, koliko god da me voli, ni on mi ne posvecuje onoliko paznje koliko mi treba. Razocaran je i pogodjen. Okrenuo se zaljenju bake. Nije hteo da dopusti drugima da mu pomognu da to bar malkice preboli i ostao je zaglavljen negde u sredini. Ne znam stvarno sta da radim. Pocela sam da budem depresivna i ne ide mi se nigde, ne radi mi se nista. Zelim da se izbacim iz toga ali ne znam kako. Kazu mi da se usmerim na nesto lepo, ali meni se cini da nemam na sta. Molim vas, pomozite mi nekako.

odgovor:
Poštovana Magdalena, razumeo sam da si ni kriva ni dužna ostala sama, zbog majčine teške bolesti, bakine smrti, od ranije odsustva oca koji se daleko od tebe bavi nekim svojim životom, kao i zbog dedine nedovoljne osetljivosti da ti, zbog svojih godina i zbog tuge za babom, pruži dovoljno podrške, utehe i razumevanja u nastaloj situaciji. Mislim da su sva osećanja koja doživljavaš, kako ona koja si napisala tako i ona koja nisi – potpuno OK. Mislim da je dobro da sebi dozvoliš da osećaš i ispoljavaš svoja osećanja, ma šta o tome pričala tvoja rodbina. Može koristiti da pišeš svoj intimni dnevnik, i svakodnevno mu  “ispovedaš” svoje misli, osećanja i doživljaje koje si imala tog dana. Takođe, mislim i da je odlično što si dobar đak, jedne prestižne i teške gimnazije, i da će ti koristiti i da se trudiš da i dalje ostvaruješ dobar uspeh u školi.  Mišljenja sam, takođe, na osnovu tvog pisma da si inteligentna, obrazovana i rafinirana mlada osoba, sa visokim psihičkim i socijalnim kapacitetima. Mislim da  će započnjanje psihološkog savetovanja, i to kod svog školskog psihologa ili pak u Savetovalištu za mlade u Domu Omladine u Beogradu – sigurno dovesti do jednog značajnog emocionalnog rasterećenja, povratka raspoloženja i optimizma kao i do građenja određenih strategija rešavanja problema koji su te zadesili. Srdačni pozdravi, Jovan Ratković.

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